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  • Beyond the 7th Door 1987

    ★★ Watched 02 Sep, 2014

    Lazar Rockwood sniffs, hollers, and mangles the English language as he and his girlfriend maneuver through a series of puzzling death-traps in the Canuxploitation pic Beyond the 7th Door.

    Rockwood is a proto-Wiseau (proseau?) type, in a film that almost plays out as proto-Cube-lite.

    You should probably see this, that's for sure.

  • Waxwork 1988

    ★★★½ Rewatched 31 Aug, 2014

    Upon this reviewing, things dragged a little bit when the film gets three-quarters of the way through.

    Despite it dragging on a bit before the climax, I still maintain that this film has everything you want from a late-night horror-comedy - especially the uncensored version. Werewolves ripping people in half, gooey vampire-inflicted leg wounds and goofy laughs abound.

    It's also got a solid sense of style and is thoroughly well-directed to boot.

  • Calendar Girl 1993

    ★★ Watched 29 Aug, 2014

    This period coming-of-age romp has chuckles and groans in equal measure, but is seriously undercut by the fact that these dudes are straight up stalking Marilyn Monroe. Their determination gets quite creepy - not to mention downright illegal at times.

    The film makes a massive misstep in wanting us to believe these kids camping out in their car overnight and constantly trying to break into her house is charming, and not straight up creepsville. Lotsa familiar faces pop up though, which brightens the mood a bit.

    The 90s - sheesh!

  • What If 2013

    ★★★★ Watched 01 Sep, 2014

    A charming and funny romantic comedy that plays with the cliches of the genre in all the right ways. Yes, you know where this film is going to end up from the start, but it doesn't matter because it all just works.

    I left with a smile - but similar to Chef, which I watched the same weekend, I could have done without the additional ending they tacked on to make things groaningly obvious.

  • A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors 1987

    ★★★★ Rewatched 29 Aug, 2014

    Probably my favourite of the series, to be honest.

    The first film is creepier overall, but I've never been fond of the ending. This film feels like the best way to approach a sequel to that flick, and it really balances the jokiness with the ew, yuck! vibe well - this is just at the apex of Freddy becoming a huge pop-culture icon after all, but thankfully he has yet to suck people into video games while yelling "Now we're playing with power!" or brandish a pair of RayBans.

    It's a good balance and you can see why they really pushed that in the later sequels.

  • Chef 2014

    ★★★½ Watched 29 Aug, 2014

    This movie will make you very, very hungry.

    I could have gone without the everything-tied-up-perfectly-with-a-bow-on-top ending, but otherwise, a very easy, breezy watch.

  • If I Stay 2014

    ★★ Watched 25 Aug, 2014

    If I Stay has the right elements in place to be a fairly well executed - if expected - teenage romantic drama. Unfortunately, it chooses to follow the book's structure of plotting it all around an accident that leaves the main character wandering through a hospital, unable to talk to anyone and experiencing the plot through flashbacks.

    This renders all of the goodwill a film like this can muster near-null. After a rocky start, the film does start to settle…

  • Tower of Evil 1972

    ★★★½ Watched 21 Aug, 2014

    Read the entire review of Tower of Evil at Modern Superior.

    Tower of Evil aka Horror on Snape Island from 1972 is exactly the kind of movie that you should hope to find digging through a dusty bin of VHS tapes at a thrift store or garage sale – which is precisely how I stumbled upon it.

    With its goofy – yet oddly fitting – photo-collage cover art and poorly written description, I was sure I’d be in for a…

  • Death Ring 1992

    ★★½ Watched 18 Aug, 2014

    Death Ring is a fair DTV actioner featuring: MCQUEEN! NORRIS! SWAYZE! DRAGO!

    Yes, Mike Norris (Chuck's son), Chad McQueen (Steve's son) and Don Swayze (Patrick's brother) are all here - though the latter doesn't show up until a full hour into the picture.

    Billy Drago plays a snake-blood drinkin' evil dude who sees Mike Norris win some kind of race, and decides that he needs him as a participant in his deadly man-hunting games.

    Yes, this is a Hard Target…

  • The Kindred 1987

    ★★★ Watched 13 Aug, 2014

    Read the full review on the Modern Superior Blog.

    First things first, The Kindred was written by about five people, and directed by two. The directors - Stephen Carpenter and Jeffrey Obrow, who also co-wrote - had previously worked together on 1982's The Dorm That Dripped Blood aka Pranks as well as 1984's The Power. Carpenter wouldn't go on to direct anything again until 2001's Soul Survivors. The most notable of the other writers would be Joseph Sefano, who wrote…

  • Step Up All In 2014

    ★★★ Watched 11 Aug, 2014

    Reviewed for Episode 126 of the See You Next Wednesday Podcast.

    Step Up All In is a film that manages to be both stupid, and smart. Stupid, in that it adheres to all the cliches (although with some very light satire and knowing winks through in) of the genre while continuing the series' penchant for fairly poor acting, base humor and expected scripting.

    But, it's smart because the film wisely takes a step back from the over-blown nature of the…

  • The Beast Within 1982

    ★★½ Watched 06 Aug, 2014

    Read the entire review on Modern Superior.

    The Beast Within is a movie that never seems to fully click into place, despite having plenty of interesting pieces to work with. First and foremost, the film marks the debut of a one Tom Holland – who’s name you’ll remember adorning such films as Child’s Play, Fright Night, Psycho II, Class of 1984 and more.

    All of those films are resounding successes, in my eyes. He injected both the killer doll and…