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  • The Last Witch Hunter

    The Last Witch Hunter 2015

    ★★★ Watched 01 Nov, 2015

    This brain-cell killing piece of dumb-garbage was really fun to watch, surprisingly.

    The dialogue is atrocious, the rules are made up as they go (as if a breathless 10-year old was spinning a yarn for you) but somehow I wasn't bored and I had some fun with the whole thing.

    How was this not directed by Stephen Sommers? It reminded me of some of his more enjoyable work.

  • The Monster Squad

    The Monster Squad 1987

    ★★★★★ Watched 31 Oct, 2015

    Still the best.

  • The Relic

    The Relic 1997

    ★★★★ Rewatched 30 Oct, 2015

    Peter Hyams rules and this movie stands up as total and complete popcorn creature-feature entertainment through and through.

    The effects also totally stand up (outside of a handful of wide-shot CGI compositions.)

  • Nightmares

    Nightmares 1983

    ★★★½ Watched 29 Oct, 2015

    Four-part anthology film comprised of discarded too intense for TV! segments from the series Darkroom.

    Loosely based on "urban legends", these four shorts are derivative but fun; expect them to remind you of some very specific influences (Hitchcock, TRON, Duel and Of Unknown Origin) almost to a fault, but there's a charm and the made-for-television vibe actually works if you're in the right mindset (go in expecting ABC Movie of the Week style entertainment and you're on the right track.)

    The Emilio Estevez versus an arcade cabinet section is easily the most ridiculous, but also good campy fun and worth the price of admission.

  • Slime City

    Slime City 1988

    ★★★ Watched 28 Oct, 2015

    Low-budget slime-'em-up body-melt splatter flick is patchy in dolling out goods (starts strong, meanders, before picking up the pace for a bat-shit finale) but remains watchable and entertaining thanks due in part to knowingly goofy performances that are endearing rather than annoying (as is the case with a lot of movies from this era.)

    You may check your watch a few times, but hanging in there is worth it - I promise.

  • The Serpent and the Rainbow

    The Serpent and the Rainbow 1988

    ★★★½ Rewatched 27 Oct, 2015

    It's a little more uneven than I remember, and the performance from Bill Pullman is a bit wonky here and there, but there's a lot that works here; specifically the location and authenticity of the film and its nightmare imagery.

  • Mother's Boys

    Mother's Boys 1994

    ★★ Watched 25 Oct, 2015

    Starts as a satisfyingly stylized genre-riff before settling into an average 90s-thriller holding pattern, before circling back to some entertaining lunacy in its finale.

    If you know what you're getting into, it might do the trick.

  • Jem and the Holograms

    Jem and the Holograms 2015

    ★★ Watched 25 Oct, 2015

    This is basically three movies, all battling for center stage and failing.

    What starts as an acceptable rags-to-riches fame story, turns into a science-fiction Earth To Echo-esque puzzle-adventure, all while attempting to mix real YouTube footage into some kind of inspiring narrative.

    It's fine for a while, then becomes laughable and eventually (in a Marvel-style credits scene) hints at the kind of movie it should have been.

    It's unfortunate that this fumble of a film (with nice intentions) made so…

  • Just Before Dawn

    Just Before Dawn 1981

    ★★★★ Rewatched 24 Oct, 2015

    Just Before Dawn still ranks as one of my favourite slashers from the eighties; mixing backwoods horror with body-count picture, this well-shot film takes a gorgeous location and exploits it with some very effective scare scenes and better-than-average (for the genre) acting.

    The sound design as well is spectacularly utilized, as the eerie sounds and whistles of off-screen animals pepper the score and truly add to the lost-in-the-middle-of-nowhere atmosphere.

    Bonus points for easily the best villain-kill of any slasher.

  • Tales of Halloween

    Tales of Halloween 2015

    ★★½ Watched 24 Oct, 2015

    Tales of Halloween cowers in the shadow of Trick R Treat.

    Opens and closes very solidly, with (mostly) a big pile of meh stuffed in the middle. Worth viewing for those looking to program in the spirit of the month, but as usual with these kinds of anthology films it's largely a mixed bag (of candy.)

  • The Believers

    The Believers 1987

    ★★½ Watched 22 Oct, 2015

    The latter half of John Schlesinger's career is peppered with films like this - thematically dubious yet technically entertaining and easy-to-digest thrillers.

    The Believers throws a sprinkling of xenophobic-horror onto the yuppies-in-peril mold, and could be pointed to as the exact moment his career took this left-turn (two years later, he made Pacific Heights.)

    Anyway, it's got a pretty solid finale (every yuppie-in-peril movie is contractually obligated to have the villain impaled on something, I think) and some pretty great…

  • Goosebumps

    Goosebumps 2015

    ★★★½ Watched 20 Oct, 2015

    About as good a Goosebumps film that we're likely to get.

    Let's start with the positives: this movie nails its humor, and the cast carries the film almost entirely.

    Jillian Bell continues to be one of the best supporting comedic performers in the game - and who should have had a full on leading role by this point, c'mon Hollywood what the shit? - while familiar faces such as Ken Marino lend some help, making the comedic tone land just…