Laughably bad heist film based on the Hatton Garden burglary that took place a few years back. The film unsurprisingly veers into TV film territory as it relies entirely on the talent of its cast, as there certainly isn't any of that behind the camera or in the writers room. Even then the cast is wasted with the terrible script and embarrassing attempts at humour. There is no visual flair whatsoever and a ridiculous amount of close-up shots followed by constant cutting. In the end its all played for laughs with no real attempt made to accurately portray the events that took place.
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The Promise 2016
Lavishly produced historical drama which has a bit of an old school vibe. The film generally does a good job handling a sensitive and often ignored part of history, the Armenian Genocide. Honestly hadn't heard of it before I saw it on Prime Video and decided to give it a chance, subsequently found out (not to my own surprise) that it was a major commercial flop. Oscar Isaac is now a reliable lead but its attempts to shoehorn in a…
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Elephant 2003
School shootings would be a fascinating subject to explore, examining what drives people to commit such tragic acts and the mental state they are in. But Gus Van Sant's film makes it such a painful chore through its non-conversations, non-events, ridiculously excessive use of tracking shots (the whole film is effectively a sequence of tracking shots) and dull, poorly acted, undeveloped monotone characters that its only saving grace is its mercifully short running time. A film of nothing, an empty vessel.
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InAPPropriate Comedy 2013
Its my birthday today, so I needed a film to celebrate the momentous occasion. Only one film came to mind for me, last year's acclaimed comedy classic 'InAPPropriate Comedy™'. It matched all of the criteria I had: quality over quantity (84 mins long), rip-roaring laughs (well just look at the title) and a star-studded cast (including Oscar™ Winner Adrien Brody in his greatest role since 'The Pianist™' as 'Flirty Harry').
I was fully hoping to publish a five star review…