Favorite films

  • Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice
  • Resident Evil: The Final Chapter
  • Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith
  • Glass

Recent activity

  • The Black Phone


  • Minions


  • Romeo + Juliet


  • Hustle


Pinned reviews

  • Resident Evil: The Final Chapter

    Resident Evil: The Final Chapter



    "They say history is written by the victors..."

    The Trinity of Bitches united. The last corporation falls.

    The world is saved.

    Transcendental. Post-artifice, post-cinematic. Post-humanist. The artificial simulation (of prior) has materialized, paving the way for the viscerally assaultive, archetypal reality of hyper-stimulation (but more so: of ending the reign of capital); each frame representing a superimposition of radical fluidity, meticulousness, and opaqueness - its abstraction, once rendered at a normalcy of velocity on a formal level, now brutalizes…

  • Resident Evil: Retribution

    Resident Evil: Retribution



    "It's just like a camera. Point and shoot."

    One woman. A globe of corporate decay. A soul stripped away.

    A state of victims. Bodies to weapons. Identities commodified.

    Then a gun. A memory, a feeling. An impulse to save.


    The contents of the past. The fight of the now. The value of the fiction, of the understanding within ourselves. Of deconstructing the cinematic template to an expressively artificial actuality of an unparalleled understanding of compositions, spatiality, and geography…

Recent reviews

  • The Black Phone

    The Black Phone



    "Please let the dreams be real."

    Goes for the disparate leftovers of a diluted, superfluous Stephen King narrative that functions in service of almost nothing - via the integration of main conceits that literally never evolve (as established by Derrickson’s own filmmaking limitations) - rather than hone in upon the dreamlike musings and nuances of any of the supernatural components. I support Ethan Hawke, so I suppose that counts for something.

  • Minions





    "You ta daa me a capitalist, yee i'll ta daa to a bloodsucker." - Kevin

    "If you're non kegpya, ta vegill sama kaylay to hating ta huma ben nama pig oppressed, yee loving ta huma ben nama mido ta oppressing. Ta peg's ta meja anaer geevid en hom. Feila kaylay ta meyay da haga ta sopvat lavill yee da haga ta lavill sopvat, yee pak's meyay. Feguin feila hottoe ta tub de ta ecutab." - Bob

    "The punsun…

Popular reviews

  • Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings

    Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings



    "You are a product of all who came before you."

    How the fuck do you make a film shot by Bill fucking Pope look like fucking shit.

    The phrase "flavor of the week," used to describe the (corporate) anti-artistry & unrelenting soullessness of entities like the MCU, continues to be represented by how all of these fake monstrosities persistently look like the polluted skies of the Industrial Revolution, feel like a black hole, sound like incomprehensible noise, perpetuate cultural rot,…

  • Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle

    Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle



    "That was so intense, I like can’t even with this place."

    Three stars for Jack Black as a woman and for Karen Gillan being hot.