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  • Furious 7

    Furious 7

    ★★★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    Early in "Furious 7", Paul Walker's character Brian O'Connor's son Jack throws a toy car. Brian picks up the car. He gives it back to his son. "Cars don't fly, Jack," he says. This is foreshadowing: in Brian's experience, cars don't fly. Cars will fly in "Furious 7". Cars will fly four times in three key scenes. Well, five times, if you count one of the times the cars fly as two times, because the car lands for a moment…

  • Unbroken

    Unbroken

    ★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    I am writing this review in response to multiple stories I've seen in my Facebook news feed today. The headlines of these stories all used the word "snub", either as a noun or as a passive-voice verb. These stories are about the Oscar nominations. They are saying Oscar voters "snubbed" Angelina Jolie by not nominating her film for Best Picture or Best Director. Many of these stories point to a "lack of diversity" in Hollywood. Many of these stories make…

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  • Hercules

    Hercules

    ★★½

    This was a weird, dumb, fun, little movie. It's a "what if Hercules . . . was *real*" reinterpretation based (controversially!) on a comic book. It's Hercules using his legends as leverage to scare his enemies and get him big mercenary money. It's Hercules as a sort of con man, without the heavy art of "The Brothers Grimm". It's Hercules with a social media manager (his nephew).

    This film has Ian McShane and John Hurt in it. Those two dudes…

  • Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

    Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

    My friend Delicious McCune saw a preview for this film while Michael Kerwin and I were out getting popcorn before Dawn of the Planet of the Apes. He was so impressed with the opening seconds of said preview that he called me on the phone to tell me to "Hurry up and get in here." We missed the preview. He told us about it later. "It has pizza and snowboarding in it." We took his word for gold: we accompanied…