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  • Assassin's Creed

    Assassin's Creed


    Somehow manages to muck up Fassbender, Cotillard, and Irons in a Matrix/Inception hybrid that features badass 1492 knife fights by consistently cutting back to the present in some misguided attempt to ground the viewer in "time" and "space" and establish the high-concept Animus contraption. If the filmmakers had just trusted the formula and indulged in the action and historical spectacle, this could have been something. Instead, I'm left irritated and bewildered that AC went out of its way to neuter the innovation that made this a successful video game franchise. This movie is a sequence of cutscenes you just can't skip.

  • The Killers

    The Killers


    The shadowed, sweat lathered Burt Lancaster lies on the cot, his face cloaked in shadows and the smart guy tells him men are on the way to kill him. There's nothing I can do about it, he says. Why do they want to kill you? smart guy asks. 

    I did something wrong once. Thanks for coming.

Popular reviews

  • The Fly

    The Fly


    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    33 Horror Movies. 33 Reviews. Hooptober Challenges.
    View my 2016 Cinema Shame/Hoop-Tober Watch Pile Shame-a-thon Statement here.

    Nature of Shame:
    Never seen THE FLY (1986). CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?! Jeff Goldblum. Cronenberg. Oozy goo. THE FLY!

    Hoop-tober Challenge Checklist:
    Decade - 1980's
    Original and Remake

    The Advance Word: OMFG LIKE THE BEST F'ING MOVIE EVER. I'm substituting hyperbole for an honest appraisal of my expectations here. I do so because I scanned the @Letterboxd reviews and that's pretty much what…

  • The Seventh Victim

    The Seventh Victim


    31+ Days of Horror. 33 Horror Movies. 33 Reviews. Hooptober Challenges and Bonus Tasks.

    Nature of Shame:

    Shame comes in all varieties. The Seventh Victim doubles up the shame. DVR shame. DVD shame.

    Hoop-tober Challenge Checklist:

    Decade – 1940’s
    Before 1970


    Cinema Shame comes in all varieties. We’ve investigated the first two garden varieties with this Shame-a-thon.

    1. I’ve never seen Evil Dead 2-variety SHAME! (Substitute your own unseen classic film.)

    2. Watch-Pile SHAME! (I’ve owned this movie for…