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Pinned reviews

  • Scooby-Doo on Zombie Island

    Scooby-Doo on Zombie Island


    Has there been a more epistemologically stimulating film than Scooby-Doo on Zombie Island? Just to consider the question: Scooby-doo, where are you? The metaphysical quandary of a generation! As per Parmenides: "Being is; Not-being is not," what is Scooby-doo? If you will take the following claim: all dogs are animals, not all animals are dogs; all Scoobs are doos, not all doos are Scoobs. Thus we hypothesize, as Aristotle before us: Is Scooby-doo an is? Scooby-doo acts -- he's ready…

Recent reviews

  • Jigsaw



    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    The first twist of Jigsaw is that the movie we think we've been watching is also happening, just off-screen, and what we've been watching is an inconsequential footnote in this series' needlessly convoluted timeline.

    The second twist of Jigsaw is that some boring, milquetoast dude who is way less engaging than Tobin Bell was crucial in the entirety of the Jigsaw legacy.

  • Mortal Kombat

    Mortal Kombat


    I don't know anything about the Mortal Kombat mythology, but after watching Mortal Kombat (2021) I am convinced that it would make for a fun video game.

Popular reviews

  • Antebellum



    Hooptober 7.0 - #8

    Let's call this a 1.75/5, and then let's just call the whole thing off.

    This film's premise/twist/hook/what-have-you is fine, and I could see it working with different execution. And there is clearly passion from the creative voices beyond this to say something politically resonant. It just does not come together, not hardly at all.

    The film opens with a reasonably elegant long take, a reasonably elegant string score slowly building as the geography of the plantation…

  • The Others

    The Others


    Hooptober 7.0 - #30

    Aside from Kidman's performance, I found this to be totally unremarkable. She shines, giving pathos to what is otherwise a fairly drab, droll ghost story. The conversational nature of this film, which is the main thing that makes it stand out from other films in its genre, could have been its strongest asset. But it is fairly tedious. Perhaps being previously spoiled of the film's ultimate revelation hampered my viewing experience. However, knowing what I knew…