Doc Pro

“Try to speak plain. Saves time.”

Mostly horrorstuff, but otherstuff, too.

Favorite films

  • The Texas Chain Saw Massacre
  • Freaked
  • Gummo
  • Jesus' Son

Recent activity

  • Blonde Death


  • The Beekeeper


  • The Jinx: The Life and Deaths of Robert Durst


  • Natural Born Killers


Recent reviews

  • Blonde Death

    Blonde Death


    BADLANDS by way of Gregg Araki, right down to the Sissy Spacek lookalike lead narrating the film in a soft, southern lilt. Also, streaks of John Waters and Paul Bartel in this thing, clearly making it one of the coolest shot-on-video movies out there.

    Wildly impressive and ambitious for the format. Despite only costing $2000 to make, this thing stands out among its backyard auteur brethren—great shot compositions, clear storytelling, and genuinely witty and clever writing. 

    I mean, this movie has a heist that takes place at Disneyland!

    This jumped to the top of the list of my Fave SOVs.

  • The Beekeeper

    The Beekeeper


    In the spirit of Gene Shalit, here is my THE BEEKEEPER review:

    The buzz around this movie is un-bee-lievable! It might have some saying “yas Queen”, but most of us will be feeling the sting of a shoddy production. Blame it on hivemind? Who’s to say—all this reviewer knows is, this taste of honey is not much sweeter than wine!

Popular reviews

  • Woodstock 99: Peace, Love, and Rage

    Woodstock 99: Peace, Love, and Rage

    The promoters got mad when Limp Bizkit played “Break Stuff” and the crowd starting breaking stuff? Get the fuck out of here with that shit. (I’m no Limp Bizkit fan, but what did you expect the audience to do?)

    At best, it’s a bunch of wet blanket millennial narcs complaining about jock rock; at worst, it feels like revisionist history. (And I say this as an avid detractor of rap rock/jock rock.)

    (One talking head is an emergency first responder…

  • Heaven's Gate: The Cult of Cults

    Heaven's Gate: The Cult of Cults


    Manages to be fascinating, terrifying, and heartbreaking all at once.

    Besides the Nikes and that recognizable footage of Marshall Applewhite—shorn head and wide-eyed stare, against a purple backdrop—my knowledge of Heaven's Gate, especially who they were as people, was incredibly limited. Thankfully, this doc is very thorough and uses plenty of old footage to tell their story.

    Plus, it uses some modern songs to unexpectedly great effect.

    Cults are fucking scary, man.