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  • WHAT DID JACK DO?

    WHAT DID JACK DO?

    ★★★★½

    Jack Cruz: Shelby was banging Sally like there was no tomorrow and yesterday was gone. And he had his eye on Toototabon.

    The Detective's single line in minute ten of WHAT DID JACK DO? -- his response to Jack's crack about his smoking -- is one I already highlighted the second time I watched this back in February. Once it's delivered, Lynch cedes the floor to his simian costar so Cruz can dive into one of his longest monologues. In…

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  • When We Lived in Miami

    When We Lived in Miami

    "I don't think it's going to be much of a storm."

    According to the description on the Criterion Channel, this short was filmed during Hurricane Isaac, but it seems to me Hurricane Amy did more damage.

  • Sun Don't Shine

    Sun Don't Shine

    ★★★½

    "I need you to not ask questions, okay?"

    I'm playing catch-up with Amy Seimetz because I'm finally getting to see She Dies Tomorrow. This story of a nervous young Florida couple on the run for some obscure reason takes a good long while to reveal what exactly they have to be nervous about, but it proved Seimetz had a firm command of mood and texture from the get-go. The characterizations could be stronger; in the admittedly short period of time…

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  • Gaslight

    Gaslight

    What's that? You say there's a movie called Gaslight? Sorry, dear. Never heard of it. You must have imagined the whole thing.

  • Saving Christmas

    Saving Christmas

    This "film" has a running time of about 79 minutes. Here's how that breaks down:

    5.5% - Kirk Cameron's smug, hot chocolate-obsessed introduction
    3% - A seemingly unmotivated cutaway to what looks like a much more interesting movie but is, in fact, not (Bonus: We get to see this footage again in its entirety when it's placed in the proper context)
    2.5% - Cheaply animated opening credits set to a ska cover of "Silent Night"
    7.5% - Kirk's "brother-in-law" --…