"I was just thinking about Dad's games. This feels like one."
Thrilled to report this film plays like gangbusters the second time around. I tell you, this Rian Johnson fellow knows how to write a movie.
"I understood that you wanted to see it all."
Had a choice between the theatrical and director's cuts and went with the latter because why not? If I'm going to commit to spending two and a half hours in Lars von Trierville, I might as well go all in. And I am all in for this. I'm in for the jet-black comedy, especially in the sequence where the Jack's OCD forces him to go back into one victim's house repeatedly…
This "film" has a running time of about 79 minutes. Here's how that breaks down:
5.5% - Kirk Cameron's smug, hot chocolate-obsessed introduction
3% - A seemingly unmotivated cutaway to what looks like a much more interesting movie but is, in fact, not (Bonus: We get to see this footage again in its entirety when it's placed in the proper context)
2.5% - Cheaply animated opening credits set to a ska cover of "Silent Night"
7.5% - Kirk's "brother-in-law" --…