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  • Cannibal Holocaust

    Cannibal Holocaust

    ★★★★½

    I was given a slider turtle for a pet a few years ago, and one time it got sick. I felt horrible about it, so I brought the turtle back to health and released it into the wild knowing it would be much safer out there.

  • Blood Machines

    Blood Machines

    ★★★

    A gazey, horny trek into technicolor oblivion (the inside of a woman, apparently) played to the blood-pumping, heart-thumping tunes of Carpenter Brut. You've seen Turbo Killer, so there are similarities in energy and visual style (they both also make about the same amount of sense). Upside down cooch crosses, sexual inuendo, and shameless t & a — with one absolutely ridiculous sequence involving the rising of a sun over a bare ass, something that threw me into a guffaw-led double take…

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  • Dave Chappelle: Sticks & Stones

    Dave Chappelle: Sticks & Stones

    ★★½

    Yikes, what a drop. Nevermind that buddy doubles down on the defense of some nasty ass people and some nasty ass viewpoints, but the shit ain't even that funny. Mostly it's just Dave cracking on the "audience" for cancel culture (which, I understand; sometimes it feels like there's no room for redemption), but he picks all the wrong people to prove his point.

    Once we get past the first half, things pick up with some chuckle-worthy anecdotes on gun ownership,…

  • Dave Chappelle: The Bird Revelation

    Dave Chappelle: The Bird Revelation

    ★★★★★

    "Eveybody gets mad because, I say these jokes. What you gotta understand is this is the best time to say 'em. More now than ever. And I know there's some comedians in the back, motherfuckers you have a resonsibility to speak recklessly...otherwise, my kids may never know what reckless talk sounds like"

    Don't let the intimate setup and smaller venue fool you into thinking this is the cool down; uh-uh. This is Dave heating up to some of the realist…