Kristen Ankiewicz

Kristen Ankiewicz Patron

Writer, artist, shameless goof. I like dark and arty movies. Boop

Favorite films

  • Barbie
  • The Cook, the Thief, His Wife & Her Lover
  • John Wick
  • Punch-Drunk Love

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  • Extraction 2

    ★★½

  • A Quiet Place

    ★★★★★

  • Casino Royale

    ★★★½

  • The Green Knight

    ★★★★½

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  • The Nice Guys

    The Nice Guys

    ★★★★★

    PLEASE GIVE US A SEQUEL
    - Let Crowe roll in on his Vespa with giant shaggy beard and the physique of a gourmand. He can still kick ass
    - Let Gosling take a break from his fifth Barbie spinoff
    - Let us see the cute father-daughter interaction with Angourie as a grown-ass adult
    - Give Kim Basinger a career revival

    MY FAVORITE PARTS
    - Healy using that nice pleasant voice while he fucks up March
    - The various noises Holland…

  • Barbie

    Barbie

    ★★★★★

    SO MUCH FUN
    - Production values through the roof
    - Out of control costumes
    - Dressing up to go to the theaters
    - Memes and barbenheimer
    - Nostalgia that is laser focused on me and my experiences without excluding anyone else

    SO MUCH LESBIAN SUBTEXT
    - Birkenstocks
    - Indigo girls
    - Stereotypical Barbie recoiling when Ken leans in for a smooch

    SO MANY JOKES
    - The jokes come at you a mile a minute and they are all so fucking…

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  • Extraction 2

    Extraction 2

    ★★½

    PROS
    - enjoyed the buff guy training montage
    - enjoyed the long take moving train action
    - my doggo liked it

    CONS
    - didn't care about the rescued family as much
    - wanted some connection to first movie's kid
    - thought the action was better in the first one
    - was hoping for more one on one fighting. the action-from-all-angles with huge ridiculous weapons was chaotic and less ballet like

  • Extraction

    Extraction

    ★★★

    PROS
    - the bad guys were interesting
    - the one on one combat was fun
    - the thing with the kid was good
    - the switchover when one guy joined the other guy's team was fun

    CONS
    - my eyes glazed over when it became giant war-like shootouts
    - at a certain point I couldn't distinguish good guy from bad guy; maybe that was the point but I suspect not

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  • Poor Things

    Poor Things

    ★★★★½

    bit slow in the middle

    totally nailed the ending

    loved all the little monsters

    emma stone and mark ruffalo perfect

    please clap for margaret qualley too

  • Alien

    Alien

    ★★★★★

    In the 1979 horror sci-fi classic, people on the remote towing spaceship Nostromo are terrorized by an alien monster. Fantastically weird sets and alien design by Swiss artist H.R. Giger establish a truly creeptastic environment.

    This first of the franchise is sometimes called “Truckers in Space”. Everyone is there to finish a job and collect the money. The second movie in the franchise, Aliens, is “Soldiers in Space”. Alien is the slightly better movie because the characters are more nuanced…