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  • Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets

    Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets

    ★★

    The dialogue in this film is largely drivel and nonsense, but my favourite part was Cara Delevingne telling Dane DeHaan (right at the end, no less) that "two hours spent with you feels like an eternity." It's a brutal self own on the film's part, because, well, you know where I'm going with this. And while Delevingne's character may be joking here, she's not exactly wrong either. I mean, Valerian is a truly insufferable character - essentially Han Solo as…

  • Captain Underpants: The First Epic Movie

    Captain Underpants: The First Epic Movie

    ★★★★

    Yeah, I was surprised too.

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  • The Danish Girl

    The Danish Girl

    The kind of worthy filmmaking I disdain made all the more insufferable because it exploits trans history for an insipidly tasteful, egregiously confused spectacle of Otherness that's designed for readers of the Daily fucking Telegraph.

  • Okja

    Okja

    ★★★

    Starts very encouragingly but eventually PETAs out.