If you thought Orlando Bloom was bland before, wait until you spend what seems like half of an already overlong movie watching his side quests.
This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.
On the way to an abortion, Marilyn Monroe's car passes a STOP sign, at which point Monroe changes her mind and screams at her driver to take her back home. Subtlety is not this film's strong point. It's a somewhat fictionalized, CliffsNotes version of Marilyn Monroe's life, loves, and career with half the story missing. Monroe's husbands come, but we never see them go. They just disappear, like the fictionalized father over whom fictional Marilyn obsesses. Her movie career seems…