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  • Shanghai Surprise

    Shanghai Surprise


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    Madonna and Sean Penn take a romantic honeymoon for their doomed marriage by filming a doomed movie. Imagine Raiders of the Lost Ark without any adventure and Romancing the Stone without any romance.

    Now if one can come up with the plot thesis of this one, I'll give them a trophy. None of it makes a lick of sense. Character's motivations are dubious. Everyone's end game is devoid of existence. The best hypothesis we could…

  • Con Air

    Con Air


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    Welcome to Con Air, your number one airlines if you are super butt. Like Nickelback? You'll love Con Air. Like penis measuring? Con Air is your favorite. Think Jerry Bruckheimer is a good producer, kiss our collective ass. This movie sucks.
    The movie is about the impossible. Going to prison for a crime that you wouldn't get charged with, Cage's Alabama accent, his hair, the concept of the prison plane, Colm Meaney having a job,…

Popular reviews

  • Dreamcatcher



    Four buddies with superpowers given to them by an alien that may or may not be mentally handicapped, have to team up to stop poop monsters from making people get icky tummies. Really, that's the movie. Wow....

    Questions abound in this thing. It is more dubious than Wicker Man. How do the aliens work? What's their reproduction cycle? Are the shit weasels actually the same species? Why is it called Dreamcatcher? Is Duddits mentally handicapped or just has a speech…

  • Tango & Cash

    Tango & Cash


    Two cops find love in each other's egos, while attempting to clear their names from a villainous plot to take over the world's salted caramel industry. Stallone and Russell team up for one of the raddest buddy cop dumb-dumb rollercoaster. It's shenanigans.

    Tango & Cash is incredibly stupid. There is absolutely no sense of reality here. The villain uses mice, that he loves,  to demonstrate his evilry. He owns monster trucks that have guns mounted on them. Hidden assassin's inside of…