• Doctor X

    Doctor X


    mystery of the wax museum is pretty much this movie exactly, but really feels like a slight step down for the zaniness of doctor xavier and his cohorts. pure technicolor mad science mania; replete with boiling concoctions in giant flasks filling up labyrinthine art deco laboratories, pages of meaningless sci jargon, and the denouement of an insane science experiment to prove the guilt of one of the potentially murderous doctors, which involves a series of whirly and whistly machines connected…

  • Scalps



    you, a phillisinte: have you seen bone tomahawk? like, woah dude!

    me, a kinographer: scalps better

    is it fucked up to have watched this on thanksgiving? ehh, probably. laughably racist movie but its so obscure, absurd, and relatively unimportant that it almost feels like it dilutes the term to lump it in with stuff like birth of a nation. incredibly droney very low budget blend of just about every horror movie of the late 70s and early 80s. the kind…

  • Mystery of the Wax Museum

    Mystery of the Wax Museum


    mostly notable for its striking colors provided by early technicolor, this film is a dreamy haze of reds and greens, certainly a little uncanny but giving the film a very unique stylization. this makes the film feel spooky but also almost whimsical. (its an interesting contrast to the blue orange that would become stock for many films of the burgeoning digital era several decades later) i honestly dont remember the collet sera version that much, aside from generally liking it,…

  • Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday

    Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday


    the final friday that i had yet to view, in fear of its loathsome reputation. and… it isnt half bad? sure, it feels like it was made in 1988 and released in 1993, and has only the barest and most bankrupt connection to the friday the 13th franchise, very obviously a script that couldnt get sold any other way than being frankensteined into the ninth entry of a franchise/the second of which in said franchise to claim finality, almost a…

  • Island of Lost Souls

    Island of Lost Souls


    “What is it, Moreau?”

    “The stubborn beastflesh creeping back. It’s no use, Montgomery, I might as well quit. Day by day, it creeps back. It creeps back…”

    one thing i love most about these old horror movies is the way that the protagonists will witness the most diabolical shit done by the villain and just write it off because the villain was charming and observed the various cultural niceties of the 1930s, such as giving one room and board. it…

  • The Black Cat

    The Black Cat


    while the raven remains the most front-to-back outrageous and entertaining one, the black cat stands out as the most stylish and haunting of the lugosi/karloff pre code horrors. an obelisk to a world of atrocity, of war and cowardice, where men must grapple with the deep trauma of abject destruction or become destruction themselves. dripping in atmosphere, lugosi/karloff as two very different men affected by the same manmade horrors duke it out in an existential battle for sanctity and justice…

  • The Raven

    The Raven


    a greatest hits of edgar allen poe stories serve as the backdrop for the delightfully diabolical entanglement of an incredibly creepy and cartoonishly villainous lugosi manipulating fugitive bank robber and murderer karloff to entrap the object of his affection and her father in a bunch of poe-inspired torture devices after his unwanted love is rejected. i miss the days in film where "adaptation" could just mean directly quoting and stealing images from other things but otherwise doing something totally unrelated…

  • Murders in the Rue Morgue

    Murders in the Rue Morgue


    gothic fog and shadows. crackpot gorilla blood science. murderous monkey shenanigans. bela lugosi lurking around every corner. just your average day in seedy, grimy, and racist 19th century paris. king kong totally aped the finale of this one!

  • Strait-Jacket



    a camp psycho exploitation thriller penned by robert bloch and directed by schlock maestro william castle featuring an unhinged joan crawford and a fair bit of decapitation. pretty fun, cozy in that low budget sixties horror way. incredibly out there twist in this one! but lets be honest here: is joan crawford really “insane” for killing her cheating husband and his mistress? a bit extreme, sure, but not totally unreasonable.

  • Sleepwalkers



    backed by some truly loony and esoteric lore that receives no exposition, a truckload of cameos, courageous little cats, madchen amick, and oedipal psychic catbeast vampires which could've only come from stephen king's coke addled head. probably in my top 5 stephen king movies. though it is both genuinely funny at times and also very disturbing in concept, it has an overall goofy tone that i wish it didn't go for. it could really be a serious horror movie, but…

  • Hard to Be a God

    Hard to Be a God


    an overwhelming and immersive sensory overload. every frame of this movie is so jampacked with textural details that you will start to quickly become disoriented, with characters constantly moving in and out of the frame doing god knows what, crowding the tight close ups with spears, slimy fish, random bits of trash and shit, eyeballs, and their own leering gazes. the camera is very concretely its own character in this movie, being regularly acknowledged as characters look into it as…

  • M3GAN



    watching this, i had the same feeling as watching the pope’s exorcist. just reveling in the blissful dumb glory of an amusing pulpy horror premise. loved the fake ads and soulless toy-tech corporations of this highly glossed world, loved the comedy both intentional and not, loved the highly calibrated campy performances, loved m3gan grappling with a growing sense of artificial sentience running counter to her programming. didnt even feel like it lost too much being cut to PG-13! surely it isn’t actually that good but i had fun.