Not sure if the first 15 mins of this, in their low-budget abstractness, really do look like the storybook part of a Wishbone episode, or if it was just a crummy YouTube upload. Probably a little of both; a period action film that's anything less than a blockbuster has to save budget somewhere. It doesn't take long to see where the $$ went, each time Donnie Yen as the villainous emperor (well, bureaucratic eunuch with lofty ambitions) pulls over-the-top god-king…
Favorite films
Recent activity
AllRecent reviews
More-
-
R.O.T.O.R. 1987
Extremely low-energy Terminator/RoboCop rip-off with a tanned, sleepwalking marionette in the lead role, barely worth giving the time of day… except anytime floppy-armed policebot Willard is in frame, his ponderous metal body filled with a listless-yet-sassy wish for death. A nihilistic, aluminum Eeyore for every millennial viewer to enjoy. Dr. Steele, Skunk-Stripe Scientist, is pretty good too. Shame she doesn’t appear until the film’s last 10 minutes!
(Watched for goofs on a digital bad movie night.)
Popular reviews
More-
Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker 2019
Good god. What a ramshackle affair this is. Whichever puppetmaster is to blame, Abrams or Disney, this is an almost DCU-level “please no one” franchise entry. I think JJ Abrams has fine chops for getting things rolling — see: LOST, the first Star Trek reboot, The Force Awakens — but much less talent for ending them. That alone would be a major problem for this movie. (And I think is why so much of this feels like a mishmash of…
-
The Mask of Zorro 1998
Anthony Hopkins, dying, clasping Antonio Banderas & Catherine Zeta-Jones' hands together:
"I just want you to know… I think… it would be incredible… if… you boned~~ 🥀💀"
Addendum: there are at least 3 times that a mountain lion’s scream gets edited into the sound FX bed of a fiery explosion, which is very unnecessary and also rules
