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  • F for Fake

    F for Fake

    i can't do this anymore and feel good about it sorry. started this account years ago not out of any malice or desire to make people angry but out of a desire to just have fun and make fun of filmbros/shitheads/alt-right goblins/etc. but i have been realizing over the past few months that ironic shitheadedness is still shitheadedness, and i can only call people "fuckboob" so many times and can only write so many parody-disguised-as-sincerity reviews half-starring movies with women…

  • Ralph Breaks the Internet

    Ralph Breaks the Internet

    ★★★★★

    its like wreck it ralph meets the emoji movie meets ready player one meets deadpool meets unfriended on lsd with crazy visuals

  • Venom

    Venom

    ★★★★★

    I got a review filled with shit for the strong-willed
    When the movie gives you a raw deal
    Sets you off 'til you scream, "Piss off! Half a star!"
    When it shows scenes to you like you don't belong
    Or tells you you're in the wrong theater
    When something's in your mitochondrial
    'Cause it latched on to you, like—

    Knock knock, let the movie in
    Malevolent as I've ever been, head is reviewin'
    This movie's screamin', "L-L-L-Let me in!"
    L-L-L-Like…

  • Scooby-Doo

    Scooby-Doo

    ★★★★★

    what if mr t star in this movie lmao "scooby dooby doo, shut up foo"

  • Happy Tree Friends Vol 2: Second Serving

    Happy Tree Friends Vol 2: Second Serving

    ★★★★★

    the peak of dark comedy, i love this shows comedic stylistics, its not for everyone but for me its a good alternate to a lot of unfunny shit out there, check it out if you like sausage party and deadpool

  • Avengers: Infinity War

    Avengers: Infinity War

    ★★★★★

    was really good i liked the part where they had the infinity war

  • Rasen

    Rasen

    i hate rasens

  • Thor: Ragnarok

    Thor: Ragnarok

    ★★★★★

    Oh. My. God.

    As Loki Would Say, "THOR FOR THE EPIC WIN!"

    This movie fucked my mind. I had an out of body experience while watching this movie. This movie was mindblowingly and mindfuckingly good. I creamed three times while watching this movie. Im am going to show my grandchildren this movie. This movie was so full of win, I cried. Its awesome. Fuck yes. See this movie right fucking now.

  • A Ghost Story

    A Ghost Story

    ★★★★★

    by encloakening himself in a billowing white sheet the main character reveals to us that he is not only a ghost in the afterworld but a ghost in many subconcious ways, a ghost in the live of his loved ones life, a memory shrouded in a mystery, a web of love, a deep longing, a pain, a regret, a sorrow, a passion

  • Lady Bird

    Lady Bird

    ★★★★★

    through this combination of sight and sound this film accomplishes the goal of the depiction of the experience of the american teenager of the 20th century, and does it good. never before have my senses been so tickled by this fantastical smoregesboard of images and noises that play out in front of me the way my teenager years have. all of the heartbrakes and all of the rock songs and all of the girls were brought back to my memory by the sights and sounds in this movie

  • Dunkirk

    Dunkirk

    ★★★★★

    before my eyes this film played and i was taken of back by its dazzling combination of sight and sound before my very eyes. this films cocktail of loud sounds and grand image is something to behold and puts you in the mindset of the soldier in dunkirk. this combination of sight and sound is what makes the movie so good

  • The Shape of Water

    The Shape of Water

    ★★★★★

    i have never been so dazzled by a combination of sight and sound, the sights crafted by the director guillermo del toro and the sounds crafted by the mouths of the actors, this combination of sight and sound has created a unique experience that has unfolded before my very eyes and created an unforgettable experience