• Resident Evil

    Resident Evil

    ★★

    How does this movie have so much shit going on yet being boring as all fuck.

  • Prince of Darkness

    Prince of Darkness

    ★★★½

    This cast is brilliant, especially the women who have a lot of work to do and do it well. Demon Cindy Brady? Fucking creepy. Everyone is rock solid or better which is needed as this hits all kinds of social and political themes. It doesn’t really nail them but it tries.

    A bit slow in many places but the character work mostly makes up for it.

    It isn’t as dynamic as many Carpenter films but the score is way the…

  • Dagon

    Dagon

    ★★★½

    Well, this was some live-action hentai, wasn't it?

    This was one Stuart Gordon-ass Stuart Gordon movie. THough it felt like it had less money than he needed or just tried too much digital trickery when the practical stuff was so fun.

    The acting was fucking awful and that made it great.

    This is the wettest movie I have ever seen, wetter than ones that take place underwater. The lead character is never dry. He doesn't do the magical "dry once…

  • Halloween Kills

    Halloween Kills

    ★★

    I fully expected to like this flick more on the second trip and... I did not. In fact, I liked it less. Looks big budget but feels like a fan film. The writing is fucking atrocious and repetitive and feels like it has no faith in the audience (which, ok, fair).

    It looks really nice and some of the acting is good, though Greer seems like she stopped caring which is wild because she is good in everything. The kills…

  • Aquaslash

    Aquaslash

    ★★

    Ok, how does a 70 minute movie have 50 minutes of filler? They had one gag and used it multiple times but really didn’t do much else. Admittedly, it is a fucking excellent gag and worth watching it for, but it needed more. The water park slasher idea is so good and you can do so much more with it. Take this as a proof of concept, with a bigger budget it could be special.

  • Encino Man

    Encino Man

    ★★★½

    Switching to a super serious tone for like 3 minutes of drama punctuated with Pauly Shore-isms is brilliant stuff. This movie is hella fun and has fewer 90’s problematic artifacts than much of the era. Fraser is awesome and in hindsight Shore’s schtick isn’t annoying in light of what came after.

  • Sex Appeal

    Sex Appeal

    ★★★★

    I put this on for background noise and it ended up getting my full attention. I got numerous laughs from many great lines and moments. It was also very sex positive. I think the best part is that lessons are learned and sacrifices are made so others can be happy, it isn’t very “movie like” but it was really nice to see and super satisfying.

    I liked every character and thought they were a trip, especially the kid who was…

  • Habit

    Habit

    ★★

    This movie makes a great trailer. It is slick, full of flash, and looks really nice most of the time. Sadly it just feels kind of empty and it is hard to care about anything. Great if you have a nun fetish I suppose.

  • Kat and the Band

    Kat and the Band

    ★★½

    While fairly enjoyable “Kat and the Band” feels like you’ve seen it a dozen times the first time you watch it. It just offers nothing new and adheres perfectly to well wore story beats. Luckily the music is enjoyable (though sparse) and the characters are fun. Ella Hunt pretty much just played her character from “Anna & the Apocalypse” fitting I guess since both movies’ title is “her character name and a thing”.

  • Poseidon

    Poseidon

    ★★★★

    Russell Rules.

    Damn, what a fun fucking flick. The cast was great top to bottom and by the halfway point you want everyone remaining to survive the film even the hysterical one who is about to get everyone killed in her panic. Dreyfuss and Russell are wonderful. Josh Lucas surprisingly holds his own as the 1B to Russell's 1A.

    The action is crazy wild and fun (the entire tidal wave sequence is fantastic) and the effects hold up really well…

  • We Need to Talk About Kevin

    We Need to Talk About Kevin

    ★★★★

    Well, I was going to say "they needed to actually talk about Kevin" but of course, every other review covered that.

    The two timelines were a bit clunky at first but it really worked in the last half hour or so. Tilda was absolutely fantastic and all the kids were fucking evil and there was a continuity of character so they all felt like one person.

    Uncomfortable as all hell and maybe not something I'd care to watch again anytime…

  • Insidious: Chapter 2

    Insidious: Chapter 2

    ★★★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    Young Elise was a foxy lady but hearing that voice from that mouth was weird.

    I dug this almost as much as the first. A sequel that actually tried to deeper lore and do some new things while also bringing back what worked. Wilson really gives a great performance here.

    The visual direction was actually stronger with light sources giving clues to later events in the Further and the red light through the stained glass window was really moody at…