• Turning Red

    Turning Red

    ★★★★

    This was such a pleasant surprise!! I thought it was gonna be about me and how easily I sunburn, but still great nonetheless.

  • Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom

    Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom

    ★★★½

    It’s the first film since the original that doesn’t treat its audience like a bunch of idiotic morons. Not saying I’m NOT an idiotic moron… but I don’t need a dinosaur movie to be the one to tell me that, GAWD

  • Jurassic World

    Jurassic World

    ★★★½

    Watching this movie is like laying back in your recliner with a ice-cold root beer to watch some dinosaurs eat some frickin people, YEAH! All the while, Chris Pratt is hiding behind your chair, whispering so close to your ear he can practically kiss it… describing every little detail of what’s going on so you don’t get confused by the overly sophisticated details of the plot.

  • Jurassic Park III

    Jurassic Park III

    ★★

    William H. Macy’s Mustache

  • The Lost World: Jurassic Park

    The Lost World: Jurassic Park

    ★★★½

    I hate to be that guy, but the little British girl in the cold open had some overly hairy arms. Like I knew their teeth were bad, but hairy arms too… *shivers*

  • Top Gun: Maverick

    Top Gun: Maverick

    ★★★★

    This was the origin story of Elon Musk.

  • CODA

    CODA

    ★★★★½

    I’m such a fucking baby.

  • Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness

    Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness

    ★★★★

    I can’t believe Topher Grace and Michael Chiklis showed up as Eddie Brock and Michael Chiklis.

  • The Northman

    The Northman

    ★★★★

    I’ve been playing Assassin’s Creed Valhalla for the last two months, and c’mon Eggman… you totally wrote this after you played that. I know what you did, Eggers! I KNOW WHAT YOU DID!!

  • King Richard

    King Richard

    ★★★★

    Hate to say it, but Will Smith’s portrayal in this film is incredibly tarnished. Somebody should slap me in the face to make me forget he ever did anything.

  • Solo: A Star Wars Story

    Solo: A Star Wars Story

    ★★★½

    This movie and Eternals have to be some of the worst color-corrected movies of all time. The beautiful shots are there, yet they’re muddied with dark palettes. The colorists for those films should absolutely be thrown into a rancor pit.

  • jeen-yuhs: A Kanye Trilogy

    jeen-yuhs: A Kanye Trilogy

    ★★★★

    Took me a long time to write a review for this one. I watched in a month ago, but it still leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. Kanye West is undoubtedly one of the most creative and innovative artists to exist in the rap industry, even the entire music industry. After seeing the man I always thought he would be in the first two episodes, I found myself disturbed by the portrait I saw in the third episode. Seeing…