Favorite films

  • Sleepaway Camp
  • Dracula
  • New Nightmare
  • It Follows

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  • The Exorcist

    ★★½

  • Mad God

  • Body Snatchers

    ★★★

  • Frankenhooker

    ★★★★½

Pinned reviews

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  • Pinocchio

    Pinocchio

    ½

    Tom Hanks never made it out of Australia after he got covid. They’re keeping him in a government lab as we speak, experimenting on his little body, and shipped us this wish.com look a like thinking we wouldn’t notice. That’s why he keeps using insane voices now, this fraud they sent back hasn’t figured out Hank’s American accent yet. I’m onto you Anthony Albanese, just because I had to google your name doesn’t mean I don’t know what you’re up to pal. I’m about to parachute into the outback with a knife between my teeth and bring home Americas dad myself

  • Nope

    Nope

    ★★★★½

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    Nope is a film full of monkey paw wishes. Money raining down from the sky, it’s a miracle right? But what if it was silver dollars and one struck your dad through the eye, the start of a slow death you bear witness to every second of, is it still a miracle? What about fame, the one in a million dream of the dreamers, is it worth your personal tragedy? It was all so perfect a second ago until suddenly…

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  • The Exorcist

    The Exorcist

    ★★½

    Parents who were afraid of losing their kids to dope and cultural revolution filled theaters in droves for this cautionary tale. An affluent woman whose entire personality is ‘divorcée’ has her daughter snatched away by the Satanic 70s. I’m a big believer in slandering sacred texts that represent outdated principles, kill your idols baby. Significantly more boring than Jade

  • Mad God

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  • Obi-Wan Kenobi

    Obi-Wan Kenobi

    ★½

    Nostalgia is a mental illness

  • Don't Worry Darling

    Don't Worry Darling

    ★★½

    On one hand, if you go into this knowing the details of the twist like I did, there’s fun to be had. I have nothing against a dumb sci fi movie masquerading in the skin and accoutrement of something more prestigious. It’s totally competently made by skilled and experienced professionals of their craft, all of whom do a perfectly fine job (not you Harry). On the other hand, it’s a mildly evil film. White nationalists are actual worldly threats. They…