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  • Ocean's Eleven

    Ocean's Eleven

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    for a heist film, this is surprisingly... bad. the biggest, most fundamental flaw is that ocean et al are not the little guy. in a heist movie up against a big bad, i want to root for the little guy up, you know? ocean and his eleven can afford to create a whole replica vault and fake SWAT van. they have some really high tech equipment. at that point they are no longer worth cheering on. plus the whole thing…

  • The Matrix

    The Matrix

    this is just an excuse for bad stuff to happen to keanu reeves

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  • Call Me by Your Name

    Call Me by Your Name

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    do i dare to eat a peach?

    i write this from the floor, drowning my sorrows in a cider and listening to "love my way," because the song was all i could think about coming out of this movie. i don't know why people are calling this a love story. it's a coming of age story with a romance plot, and the romance is suitably unsettling for something with such strange power dynamics. the cinematography is so aesthetically pleasing, otherworldly…

  • Thor: Ragnarok

    Thor: Ragnarok

    man, remember back when the first avengers movie came out and there were all these teenagers enamoured with tom hiddleston and they called themselves "hiddlestoners" or something equally ridiculous and we all made fun of them for falling in love with a greasy slimeball villain? sure would suck if someone made a marvel movie where loki was the best character. sure would be embarrassing to walk out of a marvel movie, in the year of our lord two thousand and…