Favorite films

  • Kiss Me Deadly
  • The Texas Chain Saw Massacre
  • Dragon Inn
  • King Kong

Recent activity

All
  • Polite Society

    ★★★½

  • Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem

    ★★½

  • You Are So Not Invited to My Bat Mitzvah

    ★★★

  • No One Will Save You

    ★★★

Recent reviews

More
  • Polite Society

    Polite Society

    ★★★½

    Hey, Mutant Mayhem! Polite Society did it better. 

    My conclusion from watching these two movies—that are very similar in form yet radically different in content—close together: in 2023, teenagers in the UK are way cooler than teenagers in the US. They’re just as in need of constant validation*, but at least they still embrace the spirit of youthful rebellion. 

    “You’re arrogant! You’re an artist! The sooner you get over this Stepford Wife cardigan stuff the better for all of us!”

  • Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem

    Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem

    ★★½

    The best thing about Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem is the art design. The animation is CG, but it moves like stop-motion, and it has the texture of a hand-drawn image. On visuals alone it would earn my heartiest endorsement. The narrative and characters are where the film loses me. 

    Despite what the redundant subtitle might suggest, this latest reboot of the franchise does not put the emphasis on our heroes being anthropomorphic amphibious asskickers. The Teenage Mutant Ninja…

Popular reviews

More
  • Top Gun

    Top Gun

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    I don’t know, people. I like to think I have a pretty well developed sense of how to appreciate the cheesiest of 80’s cheese, but this much-beloved chapter in the decade’s cinematic canon still doesn’t do a damn thing for me. It’s not good. It’s not so bad it’s good. (That’s not a real thing, anyway.) It’s not even amusingly bad. It’s just boring. 

    There’s no drama or conflict. Just a bunch of tools competing for bragging rights in an…

  • Drop Dead Gorgeous

    Drop Dead Gorgeous

    ★★★½

    Less a satire of teen beauty pageants and more a parody of small town American hopelessness. The ultimate joke is not the inherent absurdity of winning a contest based on being the prettiest, kindest, most talented girl in town; it’s that none of that means a damn thing to the poor girl from the trailer park without the help of an extraordinary convergence of beneficial tragedies to launch her to her dream job. Success isn’t predicated on hard work, talent,…

Following

339