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  • 12 Angry Men

    12 Angry Men

    ★★★½

    I'm not sure the point of remaking this, other than to present an angry Muslim cliche and to call out Secrets & Lies for being a forgettable movie. I guess Friedkin just wanted to re-do it with his own cast, which isn't a completely invalid reason. In fact, I want to do that too. Here's how I'd recast it:

    JUROR 1 (Martin Balsam, Courtney B. Vance) Stanley Tucci
    JUROR 2 (John Fiedler, Ossie Davis) Carey Mulligan
    JUROR 3 (Lee J. Cobb,…

  • The Wild Bunch

    The Wild Bunch

    ★★★★

    Spinoff idea: The Wild Brunch.

    Ten men go out to eat. The restaurant is out of eggs. Everybody dies.

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  • First Reformed

    First Reformed

    ★★★½

    Between this and The Night of the Hunter, what does Hollywood have against the song “Leaning”?

    Also, I laid on my wife and exchanged breaths with her, but she hadn’t watched this movie with me and had no idea what the fuck I was doing.

  • Searching

    Searching

    ★★★★

    Finally a satisfying thriller that both promotes and condemns our digital fingerprint. 

    Also, the first ten minutes of this make a run at Up for the most surprisingly devastating start to a movie.


    There was an elderly couple seated next to me in the theater and I very much wanted to ask them if they understood, like, literally anything they were looking at.

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  • The Witch

    The Witch

    ★★★½

    Just another piece of anti-goat propaganda perpetuated by Hollywood.

    VVhen vvill it stop?

  • Collateral Beauty

    Collateral Beauty

    It's shocking – absolutely shocking – that of the movies in which Will Smith shoehorned his son Jaden, this movie, one requiring a YOUNGER VERSION OF WILL SMITH, wasn't one of them.