very much looking forward to the day i move to a cabin in alaska with my husband tom hardy and begin herding sheep with our dogs and cats. every morning i make him oscar-shaped pancakes so he knows i appreciate him even if the academy doesn’t. sorry this review of this very violent movie is so soft but every time i look into this beautiful man’s eyes i feel so calm and serene i don’t know how he does it
person: [minding their own business]
me: you haven’t seen lady bird (2017)?
me: lady bird (2017). you haven’t seen it?
them: what? no? why do you keep saying (2017) this is a verbal conversation
me: five oscar nominations. two golden globes. it was rotten tomatoes’ most well-reviewed movie of all time for a little bit. it’s a24’s highest grossing film—
them: what are you even doing here how did you find me
kyle, from across the room smoking a cigarette that is not lit anymore: it’s the tracking devices
ah, yes. meryl streep's role as "meryl streep in another mediocre dramady" was much more deserving of an oscar nomination than amy "i carried this movie on my own two shoulders" adams. because florence foster jenkins will be remembered for much longer than arrival. at least she got nominated for nocturnal animals OH WAIT