Lady Bird ★★★★★

person: [minding their own business]
me: you haven’t seen lady bird (2017)?
them: what?
me: lady bird (2017). you haven’t seen it?
them: what? no? why do you keep saying (2017) this is a verbal conversation
me: five oscar nominations. two golden globes. it was rotten tomatoes’ most well-reviewed movie of all time for a little bit. it’s a24’s highest grossing film—
them: what are you even doing here how did you find me
kyle, from across the room smoking a cigarette that is not lit anymore: it’s the tracking devices

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