The Hunger Games ★★★½

movie producer #1: hey we got a problem with this hunger games movie

movie producer #2: oh fuck did they notice we used the inferior hemsworth brother 

movie producer #1: no. i mean yeah but they’re just kinda going with it. america loves a brooding muscly white boy

movie producer #2: ok then what’s the problem

movie producer #1: the child-on-child violence isn’t testing well with audiences. apparently they went into the murder games movie not expecting to see as much blood or neck breaking or mutilation by weird robot creatures developed by the government. they don’t wanna see it 

movie producer #2: well have you tried....blurring it out

movie producer #1: you wanna blur out the violence.....during the movie. like just fuckin blur the screen 

movie producer #2: agh you’re right we can’t do that. what if we just shake the camera a bunch. it’ll be like they’re right there in the action! and who wouldn’t wanna be two feet away from jennifer lawrence as she shrieks while applying what appears to be vaseline to her likely-infected leg wound

movie producer #1: perfect. people will love it

(they high five)

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