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  • Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2

    Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2

    ★★★★★

    i don’t want to see or hear of any spinoffs unless they are about draco and his post grad life as a neutral evil gay man in early 2000s london. i want to see more of his black suits and scarves and severe blonde hair. i want to hear his opinions on the olivier awards. this is what i see in the mirror of erised along w me being held in hagrid’s orms like a baby

  • Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1

    Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1

    ★★★★

    daniel radcliffe: guys :( i don’t wanna do this franchise anymore. im only gonna be recognized as harry for the rest of my career. i wanna go do broadway now


    david yates: if you push that plan back we’ll let you strip one time in this movie 


    daniel, setting down his equus script: make that twice and you’ve got yourself a deal

  • Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

    Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

    ★★★★½

    controversial but draco crying on top of the astronomy tower and then again in the dining hall when bellatrix starts destroying hogwarts? sadder than dumbledore’s death. and i am a BIG supporter of new dumbledore so it just shows how highly i value baby draco malfoy

  • Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

    Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

    ★★★★

    obviously umbridge was gonna be carried off by the centaurs because harry and hermione took her to a secondary location and your odds of coming back alive from a secondary location are slim to none

  • Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

    Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

    ★★★★

    you know who would’ve won that damn triwizard tournament faster than any of these hoes? oliver wood. Where did he go

  • Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

    Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

    ★★★½

    growing up is realizing n accepting that ansel elgort is taller than the actor who plays hagrid

  • Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

    Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

    ★★½

    lucius malfoy serving LOOKS in his debut film......CUSTOM tom ford suit, louis vuitton cape, burberry silk pocket square, a COLLECTION of gucci rings, givenchy black boots, swarovski crystal walking staff 46 CARATS.........top it off with the ouai finishing creme to give hair a LUSCIOUS blonde glow and he’s good to go. voldemort Fucking wishes

  • Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone

    Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone

    ★★★★

    my parents crashed their car. into a crocodile. yeah and then the crocodile took out a knife and gave me this scar

  • Brooklyn

    Brooklyn

    ★★★★

    here’s the thing: tony was obviously the better choice but the guy who plays him is a very bad actor and we all looked past it because he’s hot now. sorry bout it! real fans remember when he played debra messing’s heinous son leo on nbc smash which absolutely ruined his career from the start because you can’t just unsee a bowl cut that severe. please google it i sometimes see him in the corner of my room when i have sleep paralysis

  • Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping

    Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping

    ★★★★★

    🎶 mona lisa, i gotta know
    where the fuck are your eyebrows, i really wanna know
    you could land a helicopter on that big potato forehead
    (get this chick some rogaine)
    you a bloated corpse, girl 🎶 

    maybe la la land could have kept that oscar if they had been bold enough to include songs of this caliber

  • Bo Burnham: Make Happy

    Bo Burnham: Make Happy

    ★★★★★

    bo, elbows deep in a rant about how we are constantly trapped in a cycle of performing and consuming content: if you can live your life without an audience, you should do it!

    midwestern couple who are only there because they have season tickets to this theatre: well! this is nothing like dane cook

  • Big Fat Liar

    Big Fat Liar

    ★★★★★

    i can’t wait to get to hollywood so i can create a bunch of elaborate schemes inspired by this movie and finally put an end to quentin tarantino’s career