RSS feed for adrianbalboa
  • The Kill Team

    The Kill Team

    ★★½

    daddy come pick me up theyre killing civilians and it’s not as fun as i thought it would be :(

  • Villains

    Villains

    ★★★½

    maika monroe is florence pugh for girls whose zoey deutch is margaret qualley. and bill skarsgard is ansel elgort to girls who brush their teeth every day

  • The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo

    The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo

    ★★★★★

    (+ fincher commentary)

    i have spent a lot of my life rewatching movies and i cannot recommend it enough. here is my three-watch system for guaranteed comprehension

    first watch: go in blind if you can. i like to watch on a laptop that is resting on my chest so you get a big-screen experience. make sure the room is completely dark so u don’t have to look at your weird reflection

    second watch: i repeat the process but this time…

  • Gone Girl

    Gone Girl

    ★★★★★

    + commentary with finchois

    "so, everybody bitches and moans about how many takes—people i've never even met complain about how many takes i shoot. the take of neil patrick harris parking that jaguar dead center in the middle of that frame, that was take 2. that was take 2, it's in the movie, we walked away after take 2. so please. go fuck yourselves"

    i cannot believe i can watch this whenever i want, i feel like i should be paying him tuition for this

  • Light of My Life

    Light of My Life

    ★★★★½

    plausible

  • Triple 9

    Triple 9

    ★★½

    this is like one of the many violent and terrible movies i would pick to watch at sleepovers when i was 14 and i’d make little comments like “every actor in this movie thinks they’re making the next Heat” and they’d be like “we KNOW you don’t know what you’re talking about” and then i’d be promptly uninvited to next weekend at rachel’s because she “didn’t ask to see a severed head”

  • The Descendants

    The Descendants

    ★★★★

    to be cucked by matthew lillard of all people! ruh roh indeed

  • There Will Be Blood

    There Will Be Blood

    ★★★★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    you guys may or may not relate but i think this is the exact life I’ve been dreaming of for myself? im a rich single parent with a son that i dress in little outfits and we travel around making money, and i send him away when i get tired of him, and then i go insane in a church, and then i make enough money to live in a mansion with my own bowling alley. and twins freak me out so i get my revenge on them. and i only eat steak and vodka. yeah dude that’s my checklist

  • No Country for Old Men

    No Country for Old Men

    ★★★★

    we do not talk about the 2007/8 oscars enough. this was 13 years ago. there was a writers strike. barack hussein was on the cusp of election. this year had everything:

    • daniel day-lewis
    • baby saoirse ronan
    • a win for ratatouille, the best pixar film

    • tommy lee jones got a best actor nomination for a different movie
    • surf’s up for animated feature (when it should have been in documentary short)
    • jon stewart called one of…

  • Emma.

    Emma.

    ★★★½

    how to describe the acting in this movie....it’s like everyone is playing the enchanted objects from beauty and the beast? they are sugary and delightful and every time something cute happened i clasped my hands together and exclaimed eeeuuoooui! mon bebé! mon petit bebé! je t’aime! you know?

  • The Social Network

    The Social Network

    ★★★★★

    if you watch this with the netflix subtitles you may notice things that are barely audible and even things that are not in the original script. im specifically referring to the scene after bill gates when bob’s friends are calling him medically stupid, look closely and you’ll see bob utters “i didn’t have my contacts in.” like are you serious my guy

  • Margaret

    Margaret

    ★★★★

    everything Kenneth has ever written is like hey 😟 i know things are bad 😔 but guess what! 😳 they’re gonna get so much fucking worse for you 😋 and you don’t realize until after it’s over that he was talking to you the viewer ❤️