• I Saw the Devil

    I Saw the Devil


    A brutal cat-and-mouse game between an unrepentant serial killer and the Korean special agent he wronged. The violence is quite graphic — multiple decapitations, torture, rape. cannibalism — which, combined with a 2.5 hr run time, numbs the viewer's attention.

    Also, the film looks really nice! Great cinematography and realistic gore. And what a jaw-dropping ending...

  • Poltergeist



    Maybe the reason why the ghosts were so mad is because of how ugly the house was.

  • Black Christmas

    Black Christmas


    Credit for being the OG slasher flick, and shout out the lead actress for taking care of her "business." Still, rather boring between kills.

  • All the Money in the World

    All the Money in the World


    One star for each time someone said the title out loud

  • Alien: Covenant

    Alien: Covenant


    Like with Prometheus, way better the second time around. Some gnarly deaths, great use of the xenomorphs. I'm still not a fan of the Engineers lore, but I dig how Scott has transformed Fassbender's character into a architect of malevolence.

  • Possession



    Absolutely mad. The ultimate cuck movie.

  • Sleepaway Camp

    Sleepaway Camp


    Hella problematic, but also awesome? The ending, that scream, big fucking yikes!

    Also, this contains one of the lowkey best deaths in slasher movie history.

  • Memories



    A solid sci-fi anime anthology flick, though the first two episodes — Magnetic Rose and Stink Bomb — are far better than the third.

  • The Martian

    The Martian


    You know, I always thought that Matt Damon was like a Streisand, but I think he's rocking the shit in this one.

    But he had enough duct tape to last two years? Hmm...

  • Cure



    A solid serial killer/police thriller that slowly unfurls into an incredible piece of psychological horror. Some beautiful long takes and I can't praise the acting of the villain enough -- he (and the wild ending) make the movie jump from great to excellent.

    Just when I thought I figured out how the movie would end, it went in a wildly different direction that had me mesmerized. That doesn't happen too often!

    Recommended for fans of Fincher's Seven or Villeneuve's Prisoners.

  • Exodus: Gods and Kings

    Exodus: Gods and Kings

    A joyless, bloated stinker. Unquestionably a low point for Ridley Scott.

    There’s not much to like here. As an action flick, it’s a slog. The casting is clearly ridiculous, as if someone lost a bet and had to cast Aaron Paul as a Hebrew warrior. 

    I question how quickly Christian Bale blew through his Batman money because I can think of no other reason why he’d be in this turd other than a gambling addiction or alimony.

    Overall: too long, murky cinematography, amateurish acting, terrible makeup. Really, it’s just the cool SFX of the plagues and the Red Sea that saves this from a half star.

  • Twilight Zone: The Movie

    Twilight Zone: The Movie


    Just because you can remake Twilight Zone episodes for the big screen doesn't mean you *have* to. The third sequence -- "It's a Good Life" directed by Jon Dante -- is the clear standout.