Alan 🐳

Alan 🐳

Mostly trashy bullshit

Favorite films

  • Stalked by My Ex
  • Stalked by My Neighbor
  • Stalked by My Mother
  • Stalked by My Doctor

Recent activity

  • Venus in Furs


  • Last Night in Soho


  • Donato and Daughter


  • Lowlife


Recent reviews

  • House of Gucci

    House of Gucci


    Gaga dressed as Ned Flanders on the slopes is one for the ages. A dumb, opulent, frivolous, corny, indulgent wig-festival. This is the only correct tone for 21st century Al Pacino. Basically: Ridley Scottβ€˜s Showgirls

  • 9 Deaths of the Ninja

    9 Deaths of the Ninja


    There’s only one thing funnier than a tiny child breakdancing, and that’s a tiny child using nunchucks. This is horribly paced which really drags it down but Sho Kosugi looks absolutely stoked at all times. The credits sequence, with Sho gingerly swishing a sword about while spandex-clad dancers pirouette around him, is the stuff of dreams. In one scene Kane Kosugi literally lights a dude's asshole on fire. A worthy addition to the I Can’t Believe It’s Not Cannon universe

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