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  • The Babysitter

    The Babysitter

    β˜…β˜…

    Oh, another movie made by a dude in his forties where 12 year-olds do stuff like quote The Godfather Part 2 and reference Star Trek: The Next Generation. Goodie.

  • The Punisher

    The Punisher

    β˜…β˜…β˜…Β½

    So much about this fucking stinks, but these things make it worthwhile:

    1) Dolph with black hair
    2) youtu.be/s-bYPqXg1NQ

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  • Cyclone

    Cyclone

    β˜…β˜…β˜…Β½

    Sometimes, when people ask me what kind of movies I like, I say "oh y'know, Altman and Scorsese and stuff" when really I mean "Fred Olen Ray movies about women who ride motorcycles and shoot lazers at people".

  • Star Wars: The Force Awakens

    Star Wars: The Force Awakens

    β˜…β˜…β˜…

    Pretty frustrating.

    I had no expectations, so I was blown away by how good the first 30-45 minutes of this were. I was IN, man. I was reminded of why I loved the original movies so much, and I sat there thinking "wow, they fixed Star Wars".

    Then, it goes kinda tits up. The second half drags, and goes in all sorts of directions that never really amount to anything. If I was to sum this up in a sentence,…