I won't deny the isolated morsels of joy – which somehow all feature a hilariously dispassionate Michael Douglas' socialist ant farm – but if I'm honest with myself, I know that I spent most of this movie planning my dinner and that I won't be able to remember a single thing about it when I wake up in the morning. Franchise fatigue is one thing, but you'd expect them to at least put their backs into it a little bit, to show that at least the people making this (narrative and visual) sludge still care. But if Marvel has now also reached the point where these feel like homework, what are any of us still doing here?

Also, I cannot relate to those who point to Jonathan Majors' Kang as a silver lining for the franchise. A tonal mess of a performance that is hammy in all the wrong places.