“Well, I wish I didn’t have herpes, but we all have to deal with what we’ve got.” - Jake Gyllenhaal, who got paid a lot of money to say this line.

This was one of the dumbest movies I’ve seen in years. At various points it tried to be Reservoir Dogs, Heat, and The Thin Red Line, on top of being a silly Michael Bay joint. The cast and the drone shots were the only saving graces. Thank God I paid for this with a gift card.

“If I tells ye to… suck off… a sperm whale’s pecker… you’ll do it! And… you’ll do it smilin’ lad.” - Willem Dafoe, The Lighthouse (2019)

(This movie's really good, and also pretty gay, if you can't tell 💅)

Alrights, yous goons. Take dese here drugs, put ‘em into dese here guns, then hand them out to dose gambling prostitutes—ah yeah yeah yeah!

Everyone's doing a great job, but Fat Louie is the true MVP of this film. Killer cat performance!