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  • Rogue One: A Star Wars Story

    Rogue One: A Star Wars Story

    much to be said about a film that only tells its audience to care about its characters while it’s actively killing them off

  • I Walked with a Zombie

    I Walked with a Zombie

    ★★★

    black narcissus as sly noir: white wives cast vampyr shadows up the stairs, half-conscious of the blood they suck, in thrall to a family of far more conscious parasites, who frame their leeching as medicinal.

    those arrows commemorated in saint sebastian’s statue didn’t kill him. he died much later, clubbed by guards, for confronting the emperor in person. that’s why he’s the patron saint of holy christian death.

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  • Arrival

    Arrival

    ★½

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    i don’t like being contrarian. i mean, i love championing underappreciated films, but slamming something this immediately beloved feels awful and cynical in a way i never want to be. and i wanted so much to love this. but to me, it feels like this year’s world of tomorrow: a universally-acclaimed 101-level (and at times completely false) treatment of certain scientific ideas in service of a startlingly reactionary message. i really understand your potential objections to this characterisation, because i…

  • La La Land

    La La Land

    ★★½

    so imagine demy (but, like, only an okay version) directed detention (but, like, only an okay version) and sprinkled on its four corners the blood of badlands (but, like, only an okay version) and wrapped the whole thing up in the hide of bojack horseman (but, like, only an okay version). i adore musicals with all my heart & mind & soul & strength so please know it is with a heavy heart (& mind etc.) i must announce: this is aggressively mediocre.…