was all set to talk about blanche’s description of high-school english literature as hawthorne & whitman & poe, and how much this whole text in itself feels like a high-school english required reading—probably is in some places—and also note oh hey huey long mention wow! but by the time the lights came up parts of my body were moving involuntarily and shortly after that i was in fairly unpleasant convulsions, even if admittedly for only a few seconds, so i guess this film has that going for it, or against it, left as an interesting exercise for the interested reader

‘i’m delirious about our new cooker fitment with the eye-level grill. this means that without my having to bend down, the hot fat can squirt straight into my eye’

everyone in this film is so earnest—about fashion or first love or skateboarding or getting students to care for people in need—and so rewarded for earnestly trying to be better. mean girls wants its audience to regard its sick burns as sick burns, and the characters suffer for it. in clueless, 'you're a virgin who can't drive' is a devastating moment that must be resolved, and the resolution comes in the form of mutual overflowing heartfelt over-the-top apologies, which is honestly the sweetest thing i've ever seen on-screen and i would watch seventy thousand films consisting of nothing but that sort of relationship dynamic

This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.