I am actually incapable of being objective because every single thing Anna Kendrick does is adorable and charming to me. I also think it's important to shut the fuck up and have fun sometimes, so that's what I'm doing here. Sue me, I loved it.

Suddenly I'm a fan of the Beatles.

This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

Whenever anyone tells me that sequels are never as good as the original, I point them in the direction of this fucking masterpiece.

Shrek: Fine.

Shrek 2: Funniest movie I have ever seen. Literally one of the greatest comedies of all time. Incredible pacing and dialogue. Genuinely funny references. Modern fantasy world that is so surreal it actually works. Lit score. Directors get sad when they realise they will never make a more perfect action sequence than the castle siege set to I Need A Hero. Five-star cinematic experience.

Shrek 3: Bad.

Shrek 4: Bad.