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  • Noelle

    Noelle

    ★★★½

    I am actually incapable of being objective because every single thing Anna Kendrick does is adorable and charming to me. I also think it's important to shut the fuck up and have fun sometimes, so that's what I'm doing here. Sue me, I loved it.

  • Across the Universe

    Across the Universe

    ★★★★

    Suddenly I'm a fan of the Beatles.

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  • Kingsman: The Golden Circle

    Kingsman: The Golden Circle

    ½

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    Things this movie did:

    ● Unnecessarily killed a significant female character from the first movie within about 10 minutes, after giving her 20 seconds of screentime. Likely because they decided that she wouldn't be the love interest that she was set up to potentially be (thus rendering her useless and disposable, obviously).

    ● Used the flimsiest excuse and explanation possible to unnecessarily bring back a male character who was killed in the first movie, then do absolutely nothing with him…

  • Shrek 2

    Shrek 2

    ★★★★★

    Whenever anyone tells me that sequels are never as good as the original, I point them in the direction of this fucking masterpiece.

    Shrek: Fine.

    Shrek 2: Funniest movie I have ever seen. Literally one of the greatest comedies of all time. Incredible pacing and dialogue. Genuinely funny references. Modern fantasy world that is so surreal it actually works. Lit score. Directors get sad when they realise they will never make a more perfect action sequence than the castle siege set to I Need A Hero. Five-star cinematic experience.

    Shrek 3: Bad.

    Shrek 4: Bad.