Favorite films

  • Reaching for the Moon
  • Margaret
  • The Story of Luke
  • Practical Magic

Recent activity

All
  • The Money Pit

    ★★

  • The Haunting

    ½

  • Scary Movie

  • Thir13en Ghosts

    ★★½

Recent reviews

More
  • Scary Movie

    Scary Movie

    i actually gave this -5 stars but then gave it back 6 for the "hold my gum" scene

  • All Too Well: The Short Film

    All Too Well: The Short Film

    ★★★★★

    jake gyllenhall i'm under your bed with a knife. i'm in your walls leaking carbon monoxide into your room. i'm hanging from your ceiling fan with a samurai sword. watching you sleep. biding my time. i am hunting you for sport. you will never again know peace.

Popular reviews

More
  • Kingsman: The Golden Circle

    Kingsman: The Golden Circle

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    Things this movie did:

    ● Unnecessarily killed a significant female character from the first movie within about 10 minutes, after giving her 20 seconds of screentime. Likely because they decided that she wouldn't be the love interest that she was set up to potentially be (thus rendering her useless and disposable, obviously).

    ● Used the flimsiest excuse and explanation possible to unnecessarily bring back a male character who was killed in the first movie, then do absolutely nothing with him…

  • Jumanji

    Jumanji

    ★★★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    the part where alan asks if his parents are still around and the guy is like, "yeah, i see 'em now and then. they're over on adams street"... and then he goes to adams street and it's a CEMETERY and they're DEAD. i would have gone back and punched that guy in the face.