Battleship ½

Every time I hear someone say "But dude! It's a blockbuster! It doesn't have to make sense!"" I think to myself "Yeah, right, go fuck yourself..."

I can't fathom why blockbuster entertainment and a good script can't coexist anymore. Back in the days "blockbuster" stood for movies like Indiana Jones, Star Wars, Back To The Future, Ghostbusters, Rocky, Rambo, Terminator and what have you, big action cinema, big jokes, big entertainment.

I don't say these were cinematic masterpieces like other now grownups still praise them to be, but at least they were creative, memorable, funny, with real characters, cool stories and most importantly: they were entertaining! They were fucking entertaining! You went to the cinema, got your popcorn, sat down and stared at the screen for 2 hours, enjoying yourself with friends, laughing your ass off and screaming in excitement. Oh, what would I give to again see a simple blockbuster movie with an at least decent script...

The situation today? Puke out a half-assed script, get some "actors" to "play" the shit and put a bunch of CGI and loud sound effects in to distract the people from the complete and utter stupidity.

Battleship has not even one single aspect of film making done great.

Not. Even. One.

If this is your favorite movie ever, we can't be friends.

Report this review