Favorite films

  • Amélie
  • Parasite
  • Inception
  • Spirited Away

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  • X

    ★★★½

  • There's Someone Inside Your House

  • Men

    ★★

  • The Essex Serpent

    ★★★★★

Recent reviews

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  • X

    X

    ★★★½

    Come on baby (don’t fear the reaper)

    + Chelsea Wolfe’s moaning soundtrack
    + impeccable 70s styling

    - is this genre of horror “granny slut-shaming”? idk but I, an asexual, was highly uncomfortable throughout.


    but + for the 🐊 


    (also, I just noticed that the cinematographer also did Frankenfish. Wonder if this is in the same cinematic universe then…)

  • There's Someone Inside Your House

    There's Someone Inside Your House

    Netflix Gothic
    -a script that would be better if it didn’t exist
    -characters that are dull and unlikeable while somehow also woodenly overdramatic 
    -teens that clearly look too old to be teens 
    -really awful cheesy tumblr poetry laid over scenes that are supposed to be ~deep and meaningful~ but are actually laughably mundane 
    -sadgirl music that’s meant to be diegetic but which kicks in before the damn tape even gets put in the cassette player 
    -jocks and outcasts all going to the same parties
    -an overwhelming sense of “meh”


    (Feel free to add your own bullet points in the comments 👀)

Popular reviews

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  • Fear Street: 1666

    Fear Street: 1666

    Fear Street: There’s Finally Adults But They’re All Just Acting in a Community Theatre Version of The Crucible 

    Are we just going to ignore that this colorblind casting/weird fusion timeline led to what looks very much like a lynching? Are they really just going to gloss over that?!! But whatever, I guess I’m not supposed to read into social issues because this movie is just a “pastiche.” 

    Ok so if I’m not allowed to comment on the irresponsible and clear…

  • Fear Street: 1994

    Fear Street: 1994

    Fear Street: Where Are All the Adults?!!

    aka the woke film with lots of technology anachronisms and, how are there so many openly gay people? I went to a liberal hippie school where no one was even out until 2009. I mean, good for them, but wow what is this fantasy 1994; wish my dialup service was good enough to play computer games back then, and wish I would’ve felt as comfortable as these main characters about being out back…