Apologies in advance for reducing it to this (and women and genderqueer people can certainly have the same reaction), but this was every dude around me leaving the theater.
One of my fondest moviegoing memories is the collective groan a frustrated opening weekend audience let out as Stanley Kubrick's elusive final film cut to black. It's a fair response, as Eyes Wide Shut deliberately upends our expectations; it's a movie that was sold on the promise of raunchy sex scenes featuring its then-married leads, but while there's plenty of skin throughout the film, the sex is as cold and alien as Crash (the Ballard book/Cronenberg film). I've heard a…
I can see why this won a bunch of Oscars, as it's exactly the sort of picturesque, tasteful (BORING), PG-rated romance that always drew in mobs of elderly ladies when I worked at an art house theater. It's technically well made (TORTURE), with handsome cinematography and a lush John Barry score, but it never really succeeds at creating a compelling story or characters we care about (OMG SOOOO BORING). I can appreciate the craft (JESUS GOD. PLEASE KILL ME), but I never really found it compelling, emotionally or otherwise (IT NEVER ENDS. IT. NEVER. FUCKING. ENDS).