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  • Dragnet

    Dragnet

    This is fucking awful, so utterly failing at whatever comic trajectory it was aiming for that its opening credits play as unironic badge-worshipping propaganda. It honestly read like the film was threatening me. And it doesn't even do THAT very well.

    But I did not bring you here today to discuss a badly aged movie*. I brought you here to tell you DRAGNET is the film Michael Bay stole ALL his ideas from.

    Look at this car chase:

    www.youtube.com/watch?v=rJCQM0ZFWWs

    Michael…

  • Sleepless in Seattle

    Sleepless in Seattle

    Meg Ryan has a cute little pooky-nose, and Tom Hanks has a cute little pooky-nose and their kids are gonna be Whos from Whosville.

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  • Forrest Gump

    Forrest Gump

    I have always found this one fascinating as a fairground of political and cultural mirrors, both in what it says, and what it assiduously avoids saying (and what that avoidance says). I do think it is trying to be a humane mirror of reality, but I think the version of reality it mirrors is bullshit.

    But anyway, in this watch Forrest-as-autistic really came to the fore - a culturally arrested man unable to understand his own emotions - and I…

  • Ad Astra

    Ad Astra

    I think Ad Astra might actually be quite bad.

    Self-regarding of its importance, performatively serious and, above all, dull.

    And it references Apocalypse Now SO much. Straight up rips it off. Does the movie think it is being serious and important for doing so? The last movie to reference Apocalypse Now this much was Hot Shots! Part Deux.

    Ad Astra is just so incredibly convinced of its seriousness it often, in its project of being real and unflashy (unlike those…