Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers ★½

if you’re going to lazily compare the halloween sequels to the friday the 13th sequels, which i am, because i’m not going to waste my already dog dick limited reserves for critical thought on the sixth halloween movie, you’ll find the halloween sequels suffer from a severe “zazz” deficiency. and folks, i don’t gotta tell you what “zazz” is! it’s that goofy x-factor that makes these movies fun! it’s that extra tang in life’s honey mustard baby!! it’s the shit in these kindsa movies that makes the teens’ bones crunch louder when they get murdered! 

lots of it movies don’t need zazz and that’s fine. if you’re making like a really moody black and white movie where like stellan skarsgaard has cancer and he looks out a window for two hours then, great, that’s a zazzless picture and we love it. but crucify me for thinking that the sixth halloween movie should be a bit more of a lively affair, i guess!! i’ll stand on an apple crate and say it it to michael meyers’ face i don’t give a shit. fuckin big asshole wearing a fuckin devo jumpsuit! fuck you!