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  • The Blackcoat's Daughter

    The Blackcoat's Daughter

    ★★

    Slow as hell burn drags ass with unsatisfying payoff.

    I'm usually up for a Satanic school girl romp, at least in theory. I can even stand up and salute a doppelganger story. Maybe I was just tired, but I could barely get through this. Right off the bat, the writing is bad and delivered very slowly. It's unfortunate that this film is available on Amazon Prime, because I almost immediately began groping for my "second screen." The atmosphere, actors and…

  • The Girl with All the Gifts

    The Girl with All the Gifts

    ★★★

    Seemingly fresh take on a worn out and exhausted genre (like, are they still making Walking Dead?) The film develops a new type a zombie, one who chomps its way out of the womb and displays human intelligence. One such clever zombie is raised in a military bunker with her human overlords. She is the cleverest zombie they got and will write pablum sad enough to make a human cry. She calls things doesn't like 'abortions' and enjoys logic puzzles.…

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  • The Martian

    The Martian

    ★★

    "Science the shit out of it." "Let's do this." "I can do it" *bro banter* "disco sucks*

    Drew Goddard is terrible. Ridley Scott is terrible. Matt Damon is very likable. Jeff Daniels did his best work in Dumb and Dumber and has been a national disgrace ever since. Donald Glover is embarrassing. Strange race mix-ups in the casting that keep the ethnic names and background of the book. This movie is a mess.

    I hate how being pro-science has completely…

  • The White Helmets

    The White Helmets

    ½

    Piece of shit imperialist agit prop that fails at even being compelling propaganda.

    The White Helmets are not good people. They are largely responsible for our idiotic political leaders and media cretins advocating for war in Syria for the past few years. Here they are presented as tailors, blacksmiths and builders who just want to save lives. In reality they are the Western backed Sunni extremist allied information arm of the latest iteration of the butchers on 9/11/01. How swindled…