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  • Dunkirk

    Dunkirk

    ★★★

    Intense, but vacant.

    Great cinematography.

  • War for the Planet of the Apes

    War for the Planet of the Apes

    ★★½

    If you're nauseated by the embarrassing preamble to this movie, smash the mf red alert button and launch your ejector seat, because there's two more hours of similar missteps lurking behind the title card.

    Everything is either over-explored, over-explained, or aggressively heavy handed; almost a perfect counter to the greatest aspects of the previous film.

    Emotional scenes were consistently a swing and a miss, Harrelson's villain is laughably contrived, and the plot armor is as impenetrable as 'Rise.'

    Sign language taking a back seat in this installment was a huge mistake.

    For newcomers, I'd recommend watching only 'Dawn' and skipping the rest of the franchise.

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  • Fifty Shades Darker

    Fifty Shades Darker

    ½

    I wish it were called 100 Shades Darker because I would've preferred to sit in a pitch black movie theater rather than watch this.

  • Fifty Shades of Grey

    Fifty Shades of Grey

    ½

    didnt get a boner once