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  • The Devil's Candy

    The Devil's Candy


    Being a starving artist isn’t metal. You know what’s metal? Being a responsible father

  • House of Wax

    House of Wax


    Jaume Collet-Serra made a stealth remake of TEXAS CHAIN SAW (complete with a Wax-faced Leatherface analogue) in the height of the torture-porn era. I can see the semiotic readings now: Paris Hilton as wax replica of a human being, the average American town as an automated funhouse following a script, the sealing-in-wax damnation that comes as a result of videotaping someone (i.e. Hilton), etc. Not quite sure if these would be overly generous or not. But to be honest, I…

Popular reviews

  • Demons



    The ultimate Regal Cinemas / Coca-Cola student film

  • Punch-Drunk Love

    Punch-Drunk Love


    Last month, I got engaged. My fiancée, Jess, is a golden-hearted and intelligent wanderlust who works at a teen rehab center and comes on the podcast semi-regularly to defend movies like Shrek, The Secret Life of Pets, and The Neon Demon from our cruel snobbishness. She has put up with my eccentricities, introversion, and insecurites for over seven years now and has more love for me than I can rationalize. I am profoundly not worthy of this--and the engagement has got me thinking about one of my personal favorite love stories.

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