Metalhead ★★★★

Grief is such a lonely planet. When my father died eight years ago, I turned -- as usual -- to movies for comfort. I was desperate to find a movie that could become a friend to me during that time, that would understand me. I was looking for a film that would portray grief truthfully, a film that would be as close as possible to the experience of losing someone you terribly loved. The sobering truth was that there are so few movies out there that capture mourning the way it really is, and I don't think that's anybody's fault but is largely to blame on the matter itself -- movies are short and mourning doesn't care about time. The first three months or so I did barely anything but cry, then I cried every day for a year, and the following two years I still cried frequently, but irregularly. Then it stopped. Now what kind of a movie would that be? Certainly boring, but even if it were three hours long it still wouldn't be realistic enough. It's near impossible to translate the incredible stillness of mourning into any other language. Grief is only at home in grief, but Metalhead comes very close to that reality, it does it with few words, and I wish it would have existed back then so that we could have become friends earlier.