Don't watch it for the plot; watch it for the angling.
This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.
OR: Caffeine-drunken Skype ramblings to my filmmaker friend Stone at McDonalds after seeing and hating this mess.
Charlie Rogers: THE HATEFUL EIGHT WAS HORRID, STONE!!!!!!
H O R R I D
Charlie Rogers: I genuinely believe that Adam Sandler’s The Ridiculous Six is better in nearly every way.
Charlie Rogers: And if you think that makes me racist, remember that, if you take Sandler’s 30+ movies since Going Overboard, and compare them to Tarantino’s nine since My Best Friend’s Birthday,…
"But he can only see through wood, okay? So if there's a wooden door, he can see through it,"
"It's crazy how little misunderstandings can get us into a whole heap of trouble. It's crazy! Listen to my hooves! Listen to my hooves!"
What if there was a special button hidden deep in the Sistine Chapel that gave every practicing artist in the world Aspergers? The AV Club once said that this masterpiece "has more in common with early Godard…
Auteurs like Atom Egoyan popularized the hyperlink movie, where many characters and eras intertwine together to form a beautiful cohesive web. But in no less an extraordinary fashion, God's Not Dead is a chainmail movie, mixing every sort of racist, anti-intellectual, and overall shortsighted cliche you see baptists spouting everywhere into a surreal vision of my homeschooled childhood.
Move over, Nymphomaniac. This is the darkest comedy of 2014. Not since Diary of a Mad Black Woman have I seen cookie-cutter melodrama be practiced in such an unforgettably surreal and twisted manner.