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  • Unfriended: Dark Web

    Unfriended: Dark Web

    ★★★★

    ......okay i was going to make some snarky joke about how "people should stop using apple laptops because nothing but bad things happen when they do" but after *those* last thirty minutes all i wanna do now is burn every single piece of technology i have and flee to the mountains

  • Beyond the Black Rainbow

    Beyond the Black Rainbow

    ★★

    Every time I started to jive with this it kept taking me out because of how aggressively hollow it is. Beyond the admittedly cool looking visuals (which end up growing incredibly tiring by the end thanks to a point I'll get to in a second), there really isn't anything here.

    It's got the same aggressively slow pace and camera work of a Kubrick film, but with none of the food for thought that justifies those two things above. It has…

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  • The Nice Guys

    The Nice Guys

    ★★★★★

    Shane Black can eat my dick

  • The Shape of Water

    The Shape of Water

    ★★★★★

    "It doesn’t get more personal than "Shape of Water" for me. I am the proudest of it. It’s my favorite movie that I’ve done.”

    - Guillermo del Toro

    I kept repeating that quote above as I watched this, wondering why exactly it was this movie of all things he was the most proud of. It didn't seem like his most complex or grandest work, nor did it ever feel like it, but as it kept going, it started to become…