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  • Rampage

    Rampage

    ★★★★

    sentimentalism for sadists, basically a neutered michael bay joint with the third act straight up ripped from dark of the moon, with the same amount of cruelty with less panache, but even a discount bay joint is better than 90% of blockbusters. this thing has slow motion executions with giant gorillas gnawing away at flesh and disintegrating bone with their teeth, devouring antagonists and civilians alike. we see a monster rise up from the ocean and tear apart a boat,…

  • Batman & Robin

    Batman & Robin

    ★★★★

    nerds hate fun. glorious camp nonsense, batman is reduced to a glamour icon, with ripped muscles and nipples on his suit, a credit card in his own image and the mirage of celebrity that dominates both him and his counterpart bruce, the differences between them seem virtually non existent here, stars in a glorious disco wasteland. gotham is an extravaganza of late 90s fashion and opulence, a hideously garish overstylised hellhole populated with ice, ivy and roid filled mania, nothing…

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  • Baby Driver

    Baby Driver

    ★★★★★

    it's a video game musical

  • A Ghost Story

    A Ghost Story

    ★★★

    i really don't need more middle aged white assholes talking about how everything in existence is pointless and that nothing we do matters. bullshit. who cares what happens billions of years from now or if we're remembered for generations, if we can affect people in this life, and create feelings of beauty and meaning to others then that's enough. none of us are gonna live to see the earth be destroyed by the sun, we don't need to worry about…