Cruella ★★★★

This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

This review may contain spoilers.

unlike Joker, this is a movie that is actually as funny to watch as its premise is to mock, which is a huge win. there is not a second of this film that I wasn't laughing, it is outrageously stupid from start to finish and never once gains a semblance of pedigree across the runtime. by the 10 minute stretch where we experience a serious Cruella monologue to the camera about being brilliant, bad and a little bit mad, a gloriously shitty looking CGI parachute stunt and then a Sympathy for the Devil needle drop to signify the arrival of "Cruella de Vil", I accepted that someone was in on the joke. truthfully, I was in from the utterly broken moment involving rabid Dalmatians murdering her mother by yeeting her off of a cliff, and I stayed around for the rock concert where Cruella's buddies shred on electric guitar as she wears a Dalmatian coat. this is not for children, or really for anyone who wants to see a "good" movie, this is for fiends only. this is what happens when a corporation is so big and so powerful that they can just burn 200 million dollars on a coked out parody of their own model of production. the existence of this is depressing in many ways, but I'm glad that under this model, hundreds of people collaborated on an effort that has absolutely nothing to offer the world but carnage. cannot imagine this sincerely appealing to anyone as a girlboss narrative or as a future Disney classic or whatever, but as a master of irony, I had a blast and I'd have watched 134 minutes more. and even if you don't like it (you probably shouldn't) this is at least a movie that contains direction! not even the actual auteurists could do that under the contemporary Disney model, bow down to Craig Gillespie.

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