Shame ★★★★★

contender for the saddest movie I've ever seen. have thought about the gay club sequence pretty constantly since I first saw this at a way too young age, years before I even considered the possibility of having an attraction towards men. something about it gravitated me towards it, immersed me in its melancholy and it's been my dream for years to recontextualise it in one of my own film projects about an explicitly queer character learning to embrace his sexuality. I wanted to see it now to understand if its impact on me and my own perceptions of queer sex was still meaningful, even with potentially troubling implications. I think it still means something, and I'm going to go longer on it for an essay about this in particular, but I was particularly drawn to the honesty between Fassbender and Mulligan here. in a movie so determined by the failures of Fassbender to connect with anyone sincerely, watching them touch each other and express truth, even when it's cruel, hits deeply hard in a way I didn't quite remember. I don't know, I feel like it's special.

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