Four ex-priests and a former nun walk into a bar.
Pablo Larrain greets them with a smile.
One priest turns to the other and says, "I don't think this is going to end well for us."
Presented as a tense domestic thriller in its marketing, but there's so little to glean from the plain, quiet surface of ONE FLOOR BELOW that you'd be forgiven for thinking that nothing is actually wrong until the characters start screaming at each other. A classic potboiler plot pitched much far too subtly to have any real impact, though I don't know a whole lot about modern Romania - perhaps there's some key sociological or political context I'm missing to fully grasp its commentary. (Though I kinda doubt it.)
Awful in the way only bad remakes can be. There's nothing inherently wrong with the technical filmmaking on show, but the vulgar superficial warping of Park Chan-Wook's original film feels forced and unnatural where the 2003 movie is graceful in its inevitability. It also doesn't help that, while Spike Lee is no slouch cinematically, his visuals come off as sloppy when compared to Park's masterful, elegant compositions.
Other things that hurt the film include Brolin's detestable characterisation (who would want…