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  • Blue Is the Warmest Color

    Blue Is the Warmest Color

    ★½

    *intellectually jerks my cultured dick and scholarly fondles my enlightened balls*

    garbage shallow high budget porno that's only critically acclaimed because it has lesbians in it and no one wants to be a bigot

  • Good Kids

    Good Kids

    ★½

    just want to apologize to myself for watching this

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  • Nightcrawler

    Nightcrawler

    ★★★★½

    jake gyllenhaal stars as a ryan gosling character that ryan gosling declined for having too many lines

  • Yes, God, Yes

    Yes, God, Yes

    ★½

    I shove all ten inches inside you.