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  • The Equalizer 2

    The Equalizer 2

    ★★

    How was this such a hard concept to butcher? The first film was not very good. I called it an overlong film with a concept Liam Neeson would have passed on. Equalizer 2 is a nonsensical mess with Denzel acting cool and dispatching bad guys. Denzel Washington is mesmerizing but he gets little to no help from the plot, which doesn't feel connected to the first film at all. There are myriad subplots and characters across a plot designed to…

  • Hot Fuzz

    Hot Fuzz

    ★★★★★

    Pack it in Frank, you silly bastard

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  • Kangaroo Jack

    Kangaroo Jack

    I saw this because I'm watching every Walken film.

    A few years ago I was diagnosed with a skin problem that was later confirmed, via tests, to be MRSA. In order to stop it from spreading the doctor cut my leg open with a scalpel on local anesthetic. He removed a chunk of flesh and then dug out the area underneath, which didn't feel numb from my perspective. Then they packed the wound with cotton wool to make sure it…

  • Dark Shadows

    Dark Shadows

    I remember when a Tim Burton film was something kooky that the whole world would fall in love with. Beetlejuice, Edward Scissorhands, even his Batman (although I wasn't keen on it). But increasingly Burton's films have lost their way. Dark Shadows is a mess. Disjointed, rarely keeping any character continuity from one scene to the next. Its only saving grace is Johnny Depp's rather familiar central character. As per usual he throws enough heart into the performance that it stands…